Went to TMC earlier today and what i anticipated happened.
The worse words to hear during a pregnancy ultrasound is 'we could not detect heartbeat'.
They churned us a report 20mins later and in the car back home, me and A kept silent throughout the journey yet he held my hands so tight and I knew he was crying.
I wasnt sad because i had a miscarriage.
In fact, i am glad that Allah decided to let him/her go because maybe he/she was not going to be a healthy baby.
What saddens me is disappointing A, yet again. Because i know he wanted to be a dad more than anything in this world. He is the most excellent around kids. The love i have for him is too much and i could feel his pain.
We will get over this.
But the moment we stepped out thinking we needed a breather, we saw a wonderful image of a mum holding her baby and it just crushed us.
It could have been us.
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